Posted by: chartroose | October 20, 2008

Brave New Words, 2008 Edition

Jeez, I feel so neglectful of this blog and all my blogging peeps!  I’m currently teaching some web searching classes to physicians, and this always turns me into a basket case because I come across like a blithering idiot whenever I present information to groups, especially groups of people who are generally much smarter than me.  If you’re a shy person, like I am, doing ANYTHING in front of a group is pure torture.  I’m teaching a couple more classes this week and then I’m done, done, done for another year!  Hooray!  I wonder if any of you feel the same way about this.  I don’t think bybee and Don have any problems because they are “instructional professionals.”  How about other shy people, like Care and T Y?  How do you feel about public speaking?

And, speaking of speaking, I’ve noticed that several bloggers have posted about some new catchphrases and neologisms they’ve heard or read about lately.  Being kind of a word-a-holic (and what rabid reader isn’t), I decided to look up a few.  Here are my favorites:

WORKPLACE

  1. Blamestorming – Combination of blaming and brainstorming.  Used when coworkers sit around and try to figure out who screwed-up.  “Mr. Jones was mad.  The boss will want to have a blamestorming session about this.”
  2. Seagull Manager – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
  3. Cube Farm – An office filled with cubicles.
  4. Prairie Dogging – When someone yells or drops something in a cube farm and people’s heads pop up to see what’s going on.
  5. Adminisphere – The rarefied upper-echelons of a corporation.  Decisions that float down from the adminisphere are almost always inappropriate and often harmful to the peons working down below.

——————————————-

ELECTRONIC GEEKINESS

  1. Mouse Potato – The wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
  2. Percussive Maintenance – Whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work right.  (I’ve been doing this with my t.v. for almost a year).
  3. Youtubular – Entertaining in a supremely stupid way.
  4. Myspacery – Discovering that all the friends you thought you had are imaginary.
  5. 404 – Someone who is clueless, as in “404 not found.”
  6. Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) – We all suffer from this to some extent.

——————————————-

CELEBRITIES

  1. Britney – A situation that is spiraling out of control.
  2. Olsen – An anorexic girl.
  3. Doprah – (©2008, chartroose.  All rights reserved).  A person who has an overinflated opinion of him/herself.
  4. Brangelinaesque – A sweety-sweet match of two sought after items.
  5. Trumpstyle – A horrendous hairstyle.
  6. Irritainment – A celebrity spectacle that, like an accident, you just can’t turn away from.
  7. Georgebushanoia – A feeling that you’ve been repeatedly rectally raped over the last 8 years.

——————————————-

AMERICA AND ITS WHACKED-OUT INHABITANTS

  1. Generica – Features of the American lanscape that are the same no matter where you are (i.e., fast food joints, strip malls, etc.).
  2. Yanktipathy – Aversion to all things American.
  3. Consumerican – A person suffering from America’s particular brand of consumerism.
  4. Recessionista – A person who tries to look fashionable on a tight budget.
  5. WOOFS – Well-off older folks.
  6. SINBAD – Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.  (Blah!  This is totally misogynistic since it’s asserting that many women who are without a man in their lives are terribly unhappy.  I will never use this one)!
  7. Incompitense – The stress felt as one waits for the government’s next boneheaded move.
  8. TerrorgasmA frightful feeling generated by bogus scares and terror warnings.

——————————————-

LIFE IS A BUMMER

  1. Salmon Day – The experience of spending the day swimming upstream only to get killed and eaten in the end.
  2. Ohnosecond – That fraction of time during which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake.
  3. Frisbeetarianism – The philosophy that when you die, your soul flies onto the roof and gets stuck.
  4. Moneymoon –  That idyllic time after you purchase something and before “buyer’s remorse” sets in.
  5. Karmageddon – It’s the end of days, dude, and we all deserve it because we’re like totally uncool to each other.

——————————————-

CREEPY CRAWLIES

  1. Caterpallor – The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
  2. Arachnoleptic fit – The frantic dance performed when a spider jumps or crawls on you.
  3. Beelzebug – Satan in the form of a kamikazee fly that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

——————————————-

PERSONAL HYGIENE

  1. Airplane Blonde – One who has dyed her hair but still has a “black box.”
  2. Lego Hair – A really bad man’s haircut where it looks like his hair was “snapped-on.”
  3. Manscape – The removal of excess body hair by waxing, plucking, etc.
  4. Monkey Bath – A bath so hot that you say “ooh, ooh, ooh and aah, aah, aah while lowering yourself into it.

——————————————-

INTELLECTUAL AND PERSONALITY DISORDERS

  1. Politiclone – A political commentator who is unable to think for himself.
  2. Poopular – Popular on the outside, poopy on the inside.
  3. Hulk Out – To lose your temper in a roaring, clothing-rending and teeth-gnashing manner.
  4. Potterish – (©2008, chartroose.  All rights reserved).  To feel angsty in an immature, adolescent way.
  5. Osteopornosis – A degenerate disease.
  6. Bozone – The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
  7. Sarchasm – The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
  8. Ignoranus – A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
About these ads

Responses

  1. How’d you get that I am shy? I would love to teach that class! I don’t like big-auditorium-public-speaking but give me a small class and I’ve got ya in the palm of my hand… I make ‘em quite fun.

    This was good. Shall we lobby Webster’s to get YOUR words included?

    Lately, I’ve been partial to using the word lazing. I so aspire to someday lazing my days away as a WOOF. and may that moneymoon last forever…

  2. I like public speaking. yes, it scares me yet excites me at the same time…I realize this sounds wrong, oh well.

    I miss being in high school where you are forced to speak in front of class. I would secretly wish the teacher would call on me, especially if its for someone to read out loud. I use to hate it when my English teachers would call on someone who obviously doesn’t want to be called on and that person would be the crappiest reader and all the while, I’m all like “me! me! me! I’ve got Romeo and Juliet memorized!”

    Once I sang in front of class….

    So I’m like this completely contradictory person. Yes, I am shy, but I’m the shy person who secretly wants to be center of attention, though I will never ask for it.

  3. Hi Chartroose,
    Yes, that’s me. I have no problem being up in front of anyone, but I also have no problem being in the back of the room. Although I was often the class clown (even in grad school), I don’t think I crave attention – I just try to make things interesting when I get bored (which is often – sometimes even while I’m speaking).
    My problem (for better or worse) is that I really don’t care what anybody thinks of anything I say or do, I hope it will interest them, but I’m ok if it doesn’t. I’m also not bothered by anything someone else says or does. I try not to be too offensive (I don’t believe I have the right to hurt someone else’s feelings), I’m respectful of people who don’t share my opinions, and everyone I’ve met is interesting in some way (sometimes you just have to keep asking questions to find out what it is that makes them interesting).
    I guess it doesn’t bother me to get up in front of people because I don’t believe anybody is better than I am, nor do I believe I’m better than anyone else.
    So, if someone asks, I’m happy to be a speaker; if they don’t, I’m happy to be in the audience.
    I have a feeling that you are not all that dissimilar (methinks the lady doth protest too much).

  4. I’m presuming that a situation which has ‘gone a bit Britney’ is kind of in parralel with something which is Winehousing – in other words, going from bad to worse, quickly and repeatedly.

    And I’m delighted to hear the monkey bath one, as I’ve been telling the joke version of that recently…

    But just to argue with you a bit (where’s the fun in agreeing all the time, eh?), what’s wrong with SINBAD? As long as you accept that there are SINGADs out there too – and you can be SINB or SING without the ‘AD’ – then surely some people do fit into this category?

  5. I was a teacher and my current job involves me occasionally pretending to be a trainer…and my voice still shakes when I’m talking to large groups. According to those personality tests my ideal job has me locked in a closet with no public interaction.

    Maybe we should work in a cube farm together?

    Oh wait, I already work in a cube farm.

  6. Super hilarious. I couldn’t stop laughing.

  7. I recently had a “sausage party” class (all-male) and I felt a little nervous because we never got any rapport going during the five weeks. And when I’m nervous, I feel a little shyer. Other than that, I’m completely comfortable in front of groups.

  8. Oh, I recently heard “frudent” : One of your former students who has moved into a friend role, like socializing occasionally.

  9. Care–So you aren’t shy? Man, this destroys my whole image of you! For some reason I have this stereotype etched in my brain that attractive sweet women (like you) are naturally shy. How Victorian of me!

    TY–You are a contradiction, for sure. I think I can understand your attraction to being the center of attention, though. I also want to on occasion, but it has to be in a group I’m very familiar with.

    Don–Now that I think about it, you’re right. I do protest too much! I don’t really hate teaching; it’s the IDEA of teaching I hate. Once I get going, I actually have an okay time. A lot of it is a confidence problem. I want to be like you and not care at all about what others think. I also get bored with hearing myself speak, LOL!

    Jack–Winehousing, har! Every time I see that woman on t.v. I wonder how she ever became popular (or should I say poopular) in the first place. I like SING much better! No desperation allowed!

    Jill–I’m with you! Believe it or not, I like closets. My office is the size of a closet. At least I don’t have to work in a “cube farm.” That must be dreadful.

    Thank you Violet. I need to go check out your site.

    bybee–“Sausage party” is hilarious! Most of the doctors I’ve been training are male, so there is an intimidation factor there. Sometimes it’s hard to build rapport with men if you’re the only woman and are expected to be the leader.
    “Frudent” is awesome! One of my best friends was my undergrad Shakespeare prof. We hit it off right away and went to all the Shakespearean stuff we could find in the area. We still keep in touch, although I haven’t seen her in several years. She’s also the smartest person I’ve ever met.

  10. You kill me. You really do! :) The Airplane Blonde about made me burp up my Diet Coke!

  11. Coolaphonic was just the tip of the iceberg, eh? I love that Seagull Manager monikier and blamestorming! That’s what we love to do most!

    While I think of myself as shy, no one around me does. I assume I’m going to say something assinine and talk NY speed so when I do both and get called on it, no big deal.

  12. Jennifer–It took me a minute to figure that one out. I was thinking something like, “well, I guess black roots can kind of be shaped like a box…” Duh! That’s how dumb I am sometimes!

    Carrie–I think the one that cracked me up the most was beelzebug. Thank God I no longer have to deal with a seagull manager!

  13. Hra!! I will defs be using ‘blamestorming’ in everyday conversation. Also, ‘winehousing’, which I think has better flow than ‘going britney.’ Just think of the verbal potential ‘winehousing’ has.

    Also, 404 will be one of those terms that I use in mixed company, where only one person laughs.

  14. [...] open, to voice out loud, ya know?   Does anyone else suffer from vague-word-recollection?    Chartroose, make up a word that is defined as ‘knowing-a-word-but-not-knowing-it-at-the-same-time’, [...]

  15. I have been visited by Beezelbug on occasion.

  16. These are great! I like the last two the best. I’m always on the clueless side of Sarchasm…

  17. raych–I like Winehousing better too, and I’m perfectly capable of blamestroming even if there’s no one else in the room and I’m talking to myself!

    Carrie–Beelzebug is the worst! It should apply to any bug that deliberately tries to drive you crazy, and this includes moths and mosquitoes.

    Jeane–Sarchasm is on one of my faves, and ignornaus will be the new word I use when talking about my ex ( – :

  18. Very good! I especially liked the “airplane blond” and “moneymoon”. My husband and I have incorporated odd terms (many from The Simpsons) over the years … people give me funny looks when I forget to edit and I talk about macamadamia nuts (a la Homer) :)

  19. Ha ha ha, georgebushanoia. I have that one for sure. This was supremely entertaining, and I read e every single word!

    I am and introvert BUT also an instructional professional. So I could speak at a moment’s notice to an entire theater full of anyones about whatever topic I had a couple minutes to wikipedia. No prob! The introvert part means I wouldn’t enjoy it, but the instructional professional part means no one could tell I wasn’t enjoying it.

    We have Beelzebug crickets! Every June.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: