Posted by: chartroose | July 17, 2009

Chartroose’s Casting Couch

I don’t know if you’ve been able to sense this lately, but I’m currently without a squeeze, so I’m getting kind of antsy here.  Now, since this is a respectable ( = book blog, and not some trashy, cheesy hormonal teenybopper fanzine, I’ve been wracking my brain about how I can justify displaying mouth-watering pics of delicious men without seeming like a cheesy hormonal teenybopper.  Perhaps if I somehow tie these photos into imaginary movie adaptations of well-known novels, it will seem a bit less lecherous and a bit more socially acceptable.  (Har, who am I trying to fool?  This is all eye-candy, replete with occassional hip dips).  Let the casting begin!
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Les Miserables

The most recent movie adaptation of this novel was released about 10 years ago, and it starred Liam Neeson as Jean Valjean.  I think it’s time for an updated version to be released, don’t you?  I have the perfect actor for the role, and he’s French too!

This is Gaspard Ulliel, and he’s a huge big deal in France.  He may not have the acting chops quite yet, but I don’t think any of his female fans will care.
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Pride and Prejudice

Forget Colin Firth and forget Matthew MacFayden, there’s a new Darcy in town, and he’s going to put all the past Darcy’s to shame.  Here he is:

Don’t you agree?
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Great Expectations

I wasn’t crazy about the 1998 version starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Ethan Hawke.  IMO, Ethan was dreadfully boring and didn’t fit the role of Finnegan at all.  Now, if there were to be a very attractive young man cast in the starring role, and if this very attractive young man were to be shirtless during most of the film, it might be worth a remake.  I’m thinking that this guy would fill the bill very well:

His name is Taylor Kitsch, and he stars in Friday Night Lights, (which I have never seen, and I’m thinkin’ I might have to rent it immediately)!  Don’t you think Taylor would make a fine, fine, FINE Finn?  “Come here, young Mr. Kitsch, and rest on my couch for awhile. Can I get you anything, umm, anything at all?”

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Dracula

How about Kevin Zegers?  I saw this guy in Transamerica and was quite impressed with his performance.  He’s edgy and intense, and it doesn’t hurt that he has killer eyes too.  He’s 25 now, and that’s old enough to play the Prince of Darkness, dont’cha think?

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I have to post pictures of this guy, even though I’m not sure what book-to-movie adaptation he should be in. I don’t think it really matters, as long as he’s semi-clothed in most of the shots. I sometimes wonder how he would have done as Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings franchise.  Could he have performed as well as Viggo?  I guess we’ll never know.


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One more thing before I go – Jonathan Rhys Myers MUST be included, just because. He could be in any adaptation, and it would receive raves from me. WOOT!!!

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Responses

  1. Now that is quality leching. Well done. Of course, from my point of view the drawback is that they are all of the male persuasion, which doesn’t exactly do it for me, but I can still be impressed by the quality, quantity, and amount of thought which must have gone into some good lech-work there.

  2. Thank you, Jack. You make me laugh all the time!

  3. uh… uh, ok. wow. decadent. uh huh. did I already say WOW? but that Gaspard Ulliel kid? I think I’m a bit too old. feel a tad guilty for ‘spying’ on that piece.

  4. I love Gaspard Ulliel!

  5. Kevin Zegers just makes my day! I love beautiful boys who act in horror movies – I think he was briefly in Smallville too.

    Jonathan Rhys-Meyers *sigh* I never liked him until watching Tudors. Something about his attitude as Henry though – love a nasty boy!

  6. Well, that was a lot of fun, even though I’ve got drool all over my keyboard now.

  7. All were absolutely drool worthy. I was laughing at the end, when you included Jonathan Rhys Meyer. Why? Because all through the post I kept thinking he was all you needed for the perfect line-up. In long hair he’s to die for. (Hugs)Indigo

  8. I’m serving notice to everyone right now: if that remake of Pride and Prejudice comes to pass, get out of my way unless you’re into pain! LOL

  9. This post nearly gave me a heart attack from the hormones pumping through my bloodstream!

    Gaspard! Yummy. Let me repeat: YUMMMMMMYYY. (God, I must read like a Twilight fangirl).

    I have not seen this pix of JRM! Holy Hercules, look at his low-riding buckskin breeches. The laces are almost *gulp* unraveled…. This has GOT to be my new wallpaper.

  10. What does it say about me that I spent at least a minute trying to decipher whether Mr. Rhys Myers was wearing any knickers? I think it says that I’m the perfect audience for your blog! LOL!

  11. [...] at all. Now, if there were to be a very attractive young man cast in the starring role, … http://chartroose.wordpress.com/2009/07/17/chartrooses-casting-couch/ Daily [...]

  12. I, for one, am glad for your feeble attempts at creativity. ;-D

  13. It’s nice to get eye candy once in a while :-)! You saved the best for last (IMO) –I’ve liked (*really* liked!!) Jonathan Rhys Myers ever since “Bend it Like Beckham”.

  14. I feel your pain as I too have been without a squeeze much too long. All that’s missing from this post is the touch; when will Virtual Reality get here?

    And, OMG, Sawyer!

    gigi

  15. AMEN sister!

  16. Other than Hugh Jackman and Josh Holloway, those guys are too baby looking!! You may keep them for yourself. :)

  17. You have some fine taste in men, Char. Holy hotness, Gaspard!

  18. I love Friday Night Lights so, so much. I think Taylor Kitsch great on the show too, but his character graduated in S3, so I think he’ll be around a lot less in S4 (tear!). Hopefully he’ll be doing other stuff soon.

  19. You made my day! I was afraid to read your comments in case some of you decided to chastise me for posting such exploitative tripe, so I must say that you all have earned my eternal devotion.

    I don’t know why any of you feel you’re too old for these guys. Haven’t older men been chasing younger women since the dawn of time? If I had the money, I would be such a Cougar. I’d have a Gaspard or Taylor type trailing along behind me and I’d be proud of it. I’d show him off everywhere. I’d insist he wear tiny Speedos to my ritzy pool parties. I’d have him sit on my lap. Let the wild rumpus start!!!

    And, like Jennifer, I had to look at Jonathan’s pants for awhile. ‘Nuff said.

  20. Um, why must Josh Holloway be semi-clothed in all of his shots??

  21. I said most, not all, Dreamy! Even I have a small amount of decorum.

  22. OMG Eyee candyyyy!

    http://www.bloodybookaholic.blogspot.com

  23. Oh, OK, I understand now! LOL. You may want to head over to Nanny Goats in Panties, where there is a similar discussion going on.

  24. i love you taylor and when i saw you on the movie (the covenant) i can¨t explain mi felings because when I saw you oh for god almost I faint away you are so handsome and perfect for me and every night i dream with you my dreams are perfects because you are in there
    i wish that i¨ll know you

    i love you

  25. oooh my god taylor kitsch is soooooooo hoooot

  26. I’m catching up with my reader, and may I just say Thank YOU Chartroose!!! Such yumminess all in one post, I’m in ab muscle overload. I love those side/groin muscles on guys (no clue the technical term! lol), and there are so many glorious ones here. :D

  27. I totally agree with all your choices (and OMG they are so HOT) and think the Twilight folks should have picked Gaspard Ulliel for Edward instead of whatshisname.

  28. I just love this!
    Patiently waiting for the next X-Men movie, starring the oh-so-perfect Taylor Kitsch as Remy a.k.a. Gambit.

    I’m making a specific reference to this blog entry in my blog (soon) AND that pic of JRM will be my wallpaper.

  29. yummy Josh Holloway! And rhys-Meyers too :) That dirty dog.

  30. Thanks for the eye candy! I’ve been missing your posts. Hope to see you back soon.

  31. Helloooooo Mr. Darcy!

  32. You made my day with this post!

  33. YAY!!! CHARTROOSE IS BACK!!!! And it seems I’m not the only one to be enthralled with JRM’s lace-up breeches.

    I’ve been spending my time drooling over Taylor Lautner in New Moon, trying desperately to forget that he was also in Shark Boy & Lava Girl. Hubbys new name for me is CIT (Cougar-in-Training).

    Ok Chartroose, now that you’re back, please don’t stay away again! Feel free to post more stuff like this if you like! :)

  34. Ok, so I lied … you’re not back … I’m not sure why, but this post just appeared in my Google Reader today … *sob* ….

  35. This post popped up in my Google Reader, too. Tease.

  36. In mine as well, and I did a little happy dance only to realize it wasn’t new :( It was worth looking at again, though :P

  37. huh…

  38. @Eva

    “I love those side/groin muscles on guys (no clue the technical term! lol)”

    Those, m’lady, are called “money lines”. Why? Because they point to “the money”!

  39. I came here looking for a book blog and instead found myself being overwhelmed by beautiful shirtless men… What a LOVELY surprise! I am feeling a little hot and bothered right now.. phew!

  40. I’ve been thinking about you and hope all is well with you. We sure do miss you!

  41. I think Josh Holloway should be Logan Thibault from the book “The Lucky One” by Nicholas Sparks.


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