I got this idea from Chris over at Stuff as Dreams are Made On.  It looks fun and easy, so here goes:

Da Roolz

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page of results, pick an image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker, or just do it yourself, like I did.

Now, the questions:
First name?
Favorite food?
What high school did you go to?
Favorite color?
Celebrity crush?
Favorite drink?
Dream vacation?
Favorite dessert?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
What do you love most in life?
One word to describe you.
Your flickr name.

The answers go left to right, top to bottom.

There are a few of these that I find to be quite humorous, like #3.  That’s right, young whippersnappers, I went to high school with Mickey Rooney.  The boys wore bowties and the girls wore hats and white gloves.  Cocktail hour started at 10 a.m. and lasted until school let out.  Those were the days!

The kid in the recliner popped up when I typed “race car driver” for what I want to be when I grow up.  Yes, young whippersnappers, I’m now too old and crotchety to race cars.  Racing recliners is more my speed.  Now, where’d I put my remote?  Dagnabbit!

My favorite is the Obama t-shirt.  Yeah, young whippersnappers, I exude street cred and book smarts out of every pore in my body.  Word up, dawgs!  I should be president instead of that guy!  Legalize drugs?  Yes.  Legalize gay marriage?  Yes.  Keep abortion legal?  Yes.  On second thought, I don’t think the U.S. is quite ready for a single atheist libertarian female to be the leader of our fine country.  I don’t think the U.S. will ever be quite ready for me.  More’s the pity, dontcha think? 

If you decide to do this, leave a comment and I’ll go check you out.

I just can’t leave this alone!  There are too many great bands out there to simply do an A-Z compilation and leave it at that, so here are some of the rest of my favorites:

Placebo

“I feel very comfortable with the way I look, and I feel very comfortable with the kind of confusion that it creates in people’s minds. “
~Brian Molko~

I was blown away by Brian Molko’s compellingly distinctive voice the first time I heard him sing, and as I learned more about the band, I grew to appreciate what they were telling the world:  that it’s okay to be an “alternative” person if you’re a man; that you deserve respect whether you’re gay or straight (or bisexual, like Molko); and that nobody has the right to make you feel guilty about the life you choose to live.

“…You’re too complicated, we should separate it.
You’re just confiscated, you’re exasperating.
This degeneration, mental masturbation.
Think I’ll leave it all behind,
Save this bleeding heart of mine.

It’s a matter of trust
Because
You don’t care about us…”
You Don’t Care About Us, 1998

And here’s a great Placebo video:

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The Bronski Beat

I can still remember the first time I heard “Smalltown Boy.”  Even though it’s a song about the isolation and heartbreak that young gay men had to suffer through back in the day, it spoke to me.  I’ve always been able to relate to gay men very well, because I feel that women and gay men are often marginalized and dismissed, or worse, cruelly mistreated by the teeming hordes of ignorant schlubs out there who must hate, hate, hate in order to feel like their pathetic little lives have meaning.

Anyway, these guys were brilliant, even though they only had a few hits.  Jimmy Somerville is still performing today.  Here are some lyrics from “Why” (1984).  It still makes me sad.

“Contempt in your eyes
As I turn to kiss his lips,
Broken I lie,
All my feelings denied,
Blood on your fist.
Can you tell me why?

You in your false securities
Tear up my life;
Condemning me.
Name me an illness,
Call me a sin,
Never feel guilty,
Never give in.
Tell me why?

You and me together
Fighting for our love
Can you tell me why?”

Here is a video of Smalltown Boy.  It was hard to find a non-remixed version.

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The Aluminum Group

I first heard the Navin brothers singing a song about a bicycle on NPR a couple of years ago, and I’ve been hooked ever since.  They sort of remind me of a retro ’60’s harmonizing group like “The Association,” but their lyrics are a thousand times better.  These dudes are cooool, and they’re smooooth.  I love that jazzy, synth-pop sound!

Post-It™ (2008)

“…Happy with this lipstick?
Are you happy, are you glad?
Are your eyes like Cleopatra’s
And has history gone mad?
When you open up your compact,
It’s a question that you have:
Can follicles this wonderful
Be bothered or be asked?”

Here’s a video of “Headphones”

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Phoenix

Several of these guys from Versailles have been friends since they were young boys.  They started fooling around with music in secondary school.  Originally wanting to be a studio band, the members soon found themselves cast into the spotlight because of their inceasingly popular retro appeal, so they began touring in the nineties.

I enjoy listening to Phoenix, and I do it often because the band seems to enjoy experimenting with may different sounds, from synth pop to country to light jazz.  Their newest album is due out in May.

Their videos are copyright restricted, so I cant embed one in this post.  Blah!

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The Cure

Ahh, Robert Smith–a true legend since the late ’70’s.  I think of The Cure as the first emo band, and Robert Smith is the first (and the best) angsty goth singer to hit the big time.  He is the one constant in this ever-changing group of musicians, and he has never compromised on anything.

The Cure has been remarkably successful; selling almost 30 million albums over the course of Smith’s career.  My favorite album is “Disintegration” (1989).  Smith purposely used LSD while making this album because he felt that the band was becoming too commercial and he was getting too old to come up with new innovations.  The resultant album is quite extraordinary, and I still listen to parts of it when I’m in an Eeyore state of mind.

“..Oh I miss the kiss of treachery,
The aching kiss before I feed,
The stench of a love for a younger meat,
And the sound that it makes,
When it cuts in deep…
The holding up on bended knees,
The addiction of duplicities,
As bit by bit it starts the need
To just let go
My party piece.
Disintegration, 1989

Cure videos are also restricted, but I managed to find a fairly decent live performance.

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The Prodigy

Once again, it’s back to electronica, but not your everyday brand of electronica.  The Prodigy guys are in a class by themselves, because their music is a blend of rock, punk, hardcore, speedcore and metal all rolled into one.  They refuse to perform in the U.S. now, due to the fact that their 1997 album (The Fat of the Land) containing the controversial single “Smack My Bitch Up,” was banned by some of our larger retailers.  There was also an incident during a Beastie Boys concert where the two bands got into an argument about playing the song.  The Prodigy played the song anyway and offended our morality police.  Personally, I don’t care about the silly lyrics, which are just used to back up the beat anyway.  Cripes, this is electronica, folks!

Here’s “Firestarter” for you to enjoy:

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The Smiths

I remember being so angry with Morrissey when this phenomenal group broke up that I wanted to track him down and scream obscenities at him.  How dare The Smiths split!  Who did Morrissey think he was, wanting to go solo and leave his bandmates (like the awesome Johnny Marr) behind?  He had become too big for his britches, and it was a terrible shame because they were one of the best British bands to ever gain recognition in the U. S.  Their lyrics are often bleak and depressing, but if you think about them for awhile, you realize that many of them are tongue-in-cheek–biting and humorous.

Here’s an example:

“Hand in glove
the sun shines out of our behinds…”

And another:

“I would go out tonight
but I haven’t got a stitch to wear
this man said “It’s gruesome
that someone so handsome should care…”

And another:

“Frankly, Mr Shankly, since you ask
You are a flatulent pain the ass.
I do not mean to be so rude
But still, I must speak frankly, Mr Shankly,
give us money.”

There are stupid restrictions on The Smiths, too, so here is a fan vid:

S – Steely Dan

This was a tough one.  I originally picked Stone Temple Pilots because practically every studio album they cut was remarkable, but I had to choose Steely Dan over STP due to their amazing 35 year history.  Donald Fagen is a great singer/songwriter, and I think Steely Dan is one of the the most intelligent bands ever to make it big.  Their music blends elements of jazz, rock, pop and funk, and many of their songs contain hidden sarcasm and astonishing satirical elements.  Here’s an example:

“…Throw back the little ones,
And pan-fry the big ones,
Use tact, poise and reason,
And gently squeeze them.

Hot licks and rhetoric
Don’t count much for nothing.
Be glad if you can use what you borrow.
So I pawn my crown
For a ride uptown
And buy it back tomorrow…”  (Throw Back the Little Ones, 1975)

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T – Tool

It seems incredible that Tool has been around for 20 years.   When I heard their first album, I dismissed the band as just another bunch of hard rock wannabes, and I forgot about them until I heard one of their later songs on the radio and was blown away by the lyrics.  I purchased their 2nd album (Ænima) in 1998, and have added several others to my collection over the years.  Tool is not your average rock band; these guys are progressive and prophetic and often kind of freaky.  Their songs are sometimes “artsy;” and at other times, they’re cacophonous, but they’re never boring.  Also, it doesn’t hurt that Maynard Keenan can sing practically anything.  I wish he’d show his softer side more often and sing a few more melodious songs.

Just the other day, I was rocking-out to this song in my car:

“…Some say the end is near.
Some say we’ll see Armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will,
I sure could use a vacation from this,

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks…

…Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your Prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

It’s a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks…”

(Ænima, 1996)

Here’s a video of “Schism.”  This one is really strange and compelling.

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U – U2

Who else?  Even though this band isn’t at the top of my personal list, they still deserve consideration as one of the best rock bands in history.  These guys always have something to say, and their words are often very moving and very true.  U2 has won more Grammy Awards than any other band, and Bono is constantly doing all kinds of humanitarian work.  What’s not to like?  Somewhere along the line I got the feeling that they sold out, but perhaps I was mistaken.  Some of their early songs are still worth a listen, especially if they’re similar to the following:

“…And it’s true we are immune
When fact is fiction, and tv reality
And today the millions cry.
We eat and drink while tomorrow they die.

The real battle yet begun (Sunday, bloody Sunday)
To claim the victory Jesus won (Sunday, bloody Sunday)
On…

Sunday bloody Sunday
Sunday bloody Sunday…”  (Sunday, bloody Sunday, 1983)

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V – The Verve

This was the only “v” choice for me.  The words to their songs are sadly beautiful, and they’re great to listen to when you’re feeling a bit glum.  I’ve been a fan of theirs since the first time I heard “Bittersweet Symphony”  about 10 years ago, and I was sorry to hear that parts of the song had been plagarized.  Even though the band had negotiated a license to sample the orchestral portions of  “…Symphony,” (which were from an old Rolling Stones tune) they were accused of sampling too much.  They became involved in a bitter and not so sweet court battle over the song, and lost all royalties and creative control over it.  This caused singer/songwriter Richard Ashcroft to fall into depression and the band split up.  They’re back together now.  I hope they make it this time.   Here’s part of “Bittersweet Symphony:”

“…’Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life.
Trying to make ends meet,
You’re a slave to money then you die.
I’ll take you down the only road I’ve ever been down.
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet, yeah…” (Bittersweet Symphony, 1997)

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W – The Who

Roger Daltry is a tiny little guy with a great big voice, and Pete Townshend is always high on those “greatest guitarists” lists.  The Who is one of the last arena rock/rock opera bands, and some of their performances were quite phenomenal.  I discovered Quadrophenia when I was in high school, and even though it was produced when I was a young kid, I nearly wore that album out during my teen years.  When I was a lifeguard, one of my coworkers and I would sometimes take breaks in his car and listen to Quadrophenia on his stereo.  (The movie isn’t bad either–you should try it if you haven’t already).  My favorite Who song is “Eminence Front.”  The first two minutes of this song are incredible, with mellow, bell-like synth sounds and a catchy backbeat followed by Townshend coming in with a slammin’ guitar solo.  That guy could shred that thing like a madman and make it seem easy.  All I can say is, DUDE!

“The sun shines,
People forget.
The spray flies as the speedboat glides,
People forget,
Forget they’re hiding.
The girls smile,
People forget.
The snow packs as the skier tracks,
People forget,
Forget they’re hiding.

Behind an eminence front,
Eminence front – It’s a put-on.
It’s an eminence front,
It’s an eminence front – It’s a put-on… (“Eminence Front,” 1982)

Here’s a live video of “Eminence Front” for you to enjoy:

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I can’t think of any “x” or “y” bands I like, so I’m heading on to “z.”

Z – Zero 7

This duo has been around for about 10 years, but I only discovered them a couple of years ago.  They’re probably the mellowest of all my favorites.  Zero 7’s musical stylings are often classified as “trip hop” or “acid jazz.”  I prefer to just call it “aaaah.”  Here are some lyrics from my favorite Zero 7 song:

“…Do you believe
In what you see?
Motionless wheel,
Nothing is real.
Wasting my time
In the waiting line.
Do you believe
In what you see?

And I’ll shout and I’ll scream
But I’d rather not have seen,
And I’ll hide away for another day…” (In the Waiting Line, 2001)

The End

I was tagged for this by the incomparable Don over at Dons’tuff several months ago.  This will undoubtedly be quite a bit longer than Don intended, but my OCD problem makes me feel compelled to explain everything.  I know this is supposed to be a book blog, but music can be wonderfully poetic, so I think this is permissable.  Anyway, who doesn’t love music?  Here goes:

A – Alice in Chains

My favorite song is Rooster, which is about Vietnam:

“…Aint found a way to kill me yet,
Eyes burn with stinging sweat,
Seems every path leads me to nowhere.
Wife and kids, household pet
Army green was no safe bet,
The bullets scream to me from somewhere…”

The band broke up after the their lead singer died of a heroin overdose in 2002. As far as I know, they’ve reformed with a new lead. I haven’t heard any of their new songs yet.

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B – Bush
Gavin Rossdale is an amazing singer.

Bush broke up in 2001 or 2002, but I continue to listen to them when the mood strikes. Also, Rossdale is an Alan Ginsberg fan, and my favorite Bush song, “Machinehead” is loosely based on “Howl,” Ginsberg’s seminal poem of the ’60’s era of drugs and decadence. Here’s my favorite part:

“Deaf dumb and thirty
Starting to deserve this,
Leaning on my conscious wall.
Blood is like wine,
Unconscious all the time.
If I had it all again
I’d change it all.”

Gavin is now married to Gwen Stefani, and their baby boy is named “Zuma Nesta Rock.”  Poor kid!  I think he should sue his idiotic parents for undue pain and suffering when he gets older!  I may not like Gavin’s recent lifestyle choices, but I still appreciate his music.

Click here to view a video of “Machinehead:”

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Bush – Machinehead

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C – The Clash

I remember how amazed I was the first time I heard the opening chords to “Train in Vain.” I’d never heard anything quite like that before. It was a secret track on “London Calling,” their best album by far.  I still listen to them, especially when I’m kind of bummed. Their music lightens my mood, even though they sing about destruction and alienation and heartbreak. It’s their distinctive sound that does it for me.

“…The kids in the halls and the pipes in the walls
Make me noises for company.
Long distance callers make long distance calls
And the silence makes me lonely.

And it’s not here
It disappeared
I’m all lost…” (From “Lost in the Supermarket” 1979)

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D – Daft Punk

I’m a closet electronica fan, and Daft Punk represents the best of the best. I listen to “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” often, and it’s my current cellphone ringtone. In case you don’t know who they are, here’s a video of the song. (There are tons of variations of this song on youtube).

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E – The Eels

This is a smart geeky indy band which began as the brainchild of Mark Everett many years ago.  I love the way their breezy instrumentals totally contradict the serious nature of their lyrics.  The Eels are a true original in every respect.  Here are some lyrics from “Susan’s World:”

“Down by the Donut Prince a fifteen year old boy lies on the sidewalk
With a bullet in his forehead.
In a final act of indignity the paramedics take off all his clothes
For the whole world to see while they put him in the bag.
Meanwhile an old couple argues inside the Queen Bee
The sick fluorescent light shimmering on their skin…”

Mark Everett has just published an autobiography.

I’d like to read it, but I don’t think I have the time.

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F – Flogging Molly

This eclectic Irish punk/folk/rock band has been around since 1997. They’re totally different than any other group out there, and they’ve continued to improve with each passing year. Their latest album, Float (2008) is my favorite. I hope they stick around for a long time.

“Puncture the skin and see his blood run cold on desert sand,
Come hear the meant for mothers with childless hands,
As the days do come, but the years do go,
So take care of your freedom–you’ll never know,
Take good care of your freedom–you’ll never know. (The Lightning Storm, 2008)

Trish over at Hey Lady… posted a meme a couple of days ago.  After reading her fun responses, I asked if I could participate.  The rules are simple:  choose 10 favorite things beginning with a single letter of the alphabet and explain why you like them.  The only catch is that the letter is assigned to you by the person who wrote the post you’ve just read.  I’m really glad Trish didn’t give me “X” (although x-ray vision is pretty cool, don’t you agree)?  Instead, Trish, in all her awesomeness, assigned me the best letter in the entire alphabet, “A”!  A is number one, A is what you strive for in school, A is the shiznit!  Thank you Trish.  It’s terrific to know that you think I’m the best.  I think you’re the greatest, too!

Here are my favorite “A’s”, in no particular order:

1.  Authors - This goes without saying, doesn’t it?  Sometimes I think I should have gone into the book biz on the publishing end instead of on the library side, because I have the highest respect and admiration for these people.  To be able to write a novel that touches readers and has the ability to change their perceptions in some way is incredible to me, and I bow my head in admiration to my favorites, like this one: 

  and this one:   

and this one:      

and this one : 

and many, many others.

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2.  Animals – I appreciate all animals, and not just the cute ones, (but the cute ones are great, aren’t they)? 

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I give to animal-related charities and I have a whole dog and cat menagerie at home.  The charity I donate to the most is the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund, because gorillas are becoming more endangered every day.    It will be horrible if these magnificent creatures are totally destroyed because of our greed and/or apathy.  I’m very hippy dippy about animals!

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3.  Art - If I were rich, I’d be a great collector and I’d build a beautiful gallery on my gazillion acre wildlife refuge.  My gallery would feature paintings from the greatest artists: 

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                                          Rembrandt 

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                                            Monet 

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                                           Bierstadt

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                             Picasso

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              chartroose  

My gallery would be the most relaxing place on the planet, with little reading nooks and sunny plant-filled areas.  And, just a few steps away from my gallery, there would be an

4.  Aquarium - I love the oceans and the wonderful creatures that swim in their waters, don’t you?  I’m especially fond of rays and octopi.  Did you know that the octopus is super smart?  Octopi in captivity often get bored and wreak havoc in their enclosures.  A German aquarium houses Otto the octopus.  Otto  has been caught juggling hermit crabs when he’s bored.  He sometimes rearranges his living area, and he really caused a problem last year when he squirted water at the light shining into his tank and shorted out the aquarium’s electrical system. 

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5.  Amusement Parks - About 6 or 7 years go, Older Daughter and I drove to Ohio so that we could go on the (then) tallest and fastest roller coaster in the world.  It’s called the Millenium Force, and it’s at Cedar Point in Sandusky. 

We went at the beginning of August.  The day was so humid and the coaster was so fast that we both blacked out for a second coming off the first drop.  It was an incredible and scary experience, and I’d love to do it again.  Here are some other coasters I’ve gone on:

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Here are some others I’d like to try:   (The longest, Japan) 

(The coolest, England)

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6.  America - I love my country, and I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else (except Scotland, which I can’t afford anyway).  Americans are great most of the time.  I just wish we’d get our crap together now and get over this narcissistic adolescent phase we seem to be going through.  We need to stop being so self-centered and greedy and start caring for each other.  I need to practice this on a personal level, too.

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7.  Adjectives - These words are sparkling, glamorous, powerful, outrageous, dangerous, obnoxious, wonderful, weird, tasty, repulsive, splendid and outstandingly great!

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8.  Anthropomorphism – Pooh bear, Winnie the Pooh bear…  Where would we be if we didn’t put human traits on non-human things?  The world (especially the book world) would be much more dull and two-dimensional, don’t you think?  Here are some of my favorite anthropomorphic books and literary figures:

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9.  Amethysts - Is there any color more beautiful than this? 

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10.  Artichoke Hearts  – I like the expensive marinated kind that you buy in tiny glass jars.  These delicious little vegetable delicacies are swimming in heavy oil and they slide down your throat with such decadent and delicious ease that you feel wicked every time you eat one.  Yum!

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If you’d like to participate in this meme, leave a comment and I’ll assign you a letter.  I promise that it won’t be one of the hard ones, like “Z”!

I was tagged for this meme by Shannon, who resides over at Books Worth Reading.  Shannon is one of the first book bloggers I discovered during my blog’s infancy, and she’s one smart and perceptive gal.  She used to be a professional writer, so her posts are extra good.  Go take a look!

Here goes:

1.  I love old muscle cars, especially Firebirds and Mustangs, and I dream of owning a Roadrunner Superbird. 

 As soon as my invisibility superpower kicks in (it should be any day now), I’ll rob a bank so I can afford to plunk down $200,000 for a pristine yellow/black model.  If I can’t find a Superbird, then this measley little Viper will have to do:  

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2.  I have recurring dreams that I’ve experienced since childhood about riding on elaborate roller coasters.  The roller coasters have different track and car configurations, but they’re always rickety and often end up malfunctioning and flying backwards at unusually high rates of speed.  These dreams should be frightening, but they’re not.  They’re very exhilirating and fun!

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3.  I wanted to be a police officer until I started going on ride-alongs with cops from a suburban Denver police department.  I was so turned-off by the rude, crude and socially unacceptable behavior of some of these guys that it soured my opinion of law enforcement forever.  I’m sure there are good cops out there.  Maybe they live in Poughkeepsie.

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4.  I love to be alone and I often wonder how much alone time it would take before I became really lonely.  A month?  Two?  Probably more like two days  ( – :  

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5.  I deplore barbeque.  The smell alone makes me gag, and the taste of barbeque sauce is indescribably heinous.

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6.  I learned to ride a tricycle before I learned to walk.  I guess I’ve always been into wheels.

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7.  If I were able to live my life over again, I’d never marry.  I’m definitely not the marrying type, although I wouldn’t say no to Orlando Bloom.  By the way, I’m expecting his proposal any day now, along with the timely activation of my invisibity superpower so I can surprise him with a newly refurbished Superbird.  On our wedding day, Orlando and I will drive off into the sunset in our tricked-out Roadrunner, merrily honking its original “meep meep” horn as the sun’s last rays glint enticingly on its majestic spoiler.   Ahhh, what a pretty picture!  Who said I wasn’t sophisticated?  I’ll bet you’re eating your words now!

If you’d like to do this, feel free.

As an added bonus, one lucky person will get Orlando for free too!  I’ll send an Orlando mini “read” poster (11 x 17) to one commenter.  This is an excellent picture of Orlando.  It’s hanging on my office door.  

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(It says “Orlando Bloom @ your library”)

The winner will be randomly selected on Wednesday, February 4th.  Good luck!

In case you’re wondering, there is a logical reason for my giveaway craziness this month–I’m lazy.  You see, if I host a bunch of giveaways, then I can take a short writing vacation.  I don’t have to try to write pithy prose or pretend to know what I’m writing about; I just have to say a few words about the latest books up for grabs.  Easy peasy!

So, here are the ”Three French Men” books.  You can read my original giveaway post here.  (I think you should if you haven’t already).  Leave a comment below if you’d like to be entered.  I’ll draw the winner’s name on Wednesday, December 10.  

Here’s a bit of trivia:  The Red and the Black is Al Gore’s favorite novel.  Good Luck!

Someone tagged me for this one awhile back, and I’m just now getting to it.  My apologies to the tagger for not giving you credit.  If you know who you are, let me know and I’ll let everyone else know, you know?

Four Jobs I’ve Had:

1. Lifeguard
2. Swimming Coach
3. Security Guard at a bomb making facility (Rocky Flats).  Have you ever seen Silkwood?  Rocky Flats was eerily similar.
4. Dispatcher for a trucking company

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Rocky Flats guards circa 1990

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Four Movies I Can Watch Many Times:

1. The Godfather
2. Rear Window
3. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (this one is embarrassing)!
4. Monty Python & the Holy Grail 

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Four Places I’ve Lived:

1. Frankfurt, Germany
2. Pacifica, CA
3. Cambridge, MA
4. Cascade, MD 

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Ich Bin Ein Frankfurter, but I hate hot dogs!

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Four TV Shows I Love(d):

1. “Are You Being Served?”
2. “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”
3. “The Amazing Race”
4. “Masterpiece Theater” (sometimes) 

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Four Places I’ve Vacationed:

1. Italy
2. The British Isles (except Ireland)
3. Costa Rica
4. Panama 

↑

Blair Casle, Scotland
This place is amazing!  It has the only private army left in Europe, and it also houses the only female Laird in history!

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Four Novels (or series) I have enjoyed rereading:

1. A Song of Ice and Fire (George R. R. Martin)
2. The Tripods Trilogy  (John Christopher)
3. The Stand (Stephen King)
4. A Walk in the Woods (Bill Bryson)

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Four Websites I Visit Often:

1. The San Francisco Chronicle
2. youtube
3. The Guardian (U. K.)
4. Flickr 

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Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:

1.      Outside, because it’s one of the last temperate days we’re going to have until April.

2.      The Galapagos Islands because I want to see giant turtles.

3.      In Alaska so I can try to see Russia from Sarah Palin’s house.

4.      Anywhere but at work.

↑

The only Palin worth thinking

about.

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Four bloggers I am tagging:

1. Heather
2. Steph
3. Jill
4. Care

I don’t remember where I found this.  It has been buried in my “blog ideas” pile for ages, so I guess it’s time to get ‘er done.

Have You Ever…

1.  gone on a blind date?  Nope.  This may sound conceited, but I never needed to.  Beautiful men were beating a path to my door.   Sadly, I had to pick the biggest asshat of the bunch to marry and breed with.  I may have been good looking, but I had a brain the size of a paramecium.

2.  skipped school?  All the time.  What kind of a dumb-butt question is this?

3.  been on the opposite side of your country?  Yep.  I lived in Pacifica, California for an couple of years as a child and Maryland when I was married to the aforementioned asshat.

4.  swam in the ocean?  Many, many times.  Once my heinie got  stuck in some coral when the tide was coming in and I almost drowned.  Another time, on a Costa Rican Windjammer Cruise, I decided to go on a lengthy swim off the coast.  The Captain of the ship was watching me through his binoculars.  He threw a hissy fit when I got back on board and insisted that I was being careless and that I swam out too far and that he was liable and blah, blah, blah.  He wouldn’t speak to me for the rest of the trip.

5.  had your booze taken away by the cops?  No, but I did hit a parked camper while driving drunk and totaled my Dad’s Jeep.  The cop who responded took pity on me and drove me home.  I received a reckless driving ticket from the cop and a beating from my Dad.   Wasn’t I a good kid?

6.  lettered in a high school sport?  Yep, swimming.

7.  cried yourself to sleep?  Several times post-divorce and after Mom died.

8.  played a musical instrument?  Yeah, I played the French Horn in grade school for about a year.  I absolutely deplored it, and haven’t touched an instrument since.

9.  sung karaoke?  Are you kidding?  I’m waaaay too scared of crowds to do that!  It doesn’t help that I  also happen to be tone deaf and sound like a moose in heat. 

10.  cheated on an exam?  Yes, and I’m not proud of it, but it really was a self-preservation thing. 

11.  played spin-the-bottle?  No.  I hated boys until high school, and by then I was a bit too old for such shenanigans.

12.  laughed until some sort of beverage came out of your nose?  Yes!  I’ve had all kinds of things come out of my nose, and I’ve also put some things into it.  ‘Nuff said.

13.  watched the sun rise with someone you care about?  Yes, with several someones.

14.  ever been arrested?  Yeah, for speeding — 118 in a 55.  I lost my license and had to pay a hefty fine for that one.

15.  gone ice skating?  Yes and I wasn’t impressed.  It seemed pointless to keep going around and around in circles.  I do enough of that outside in the real world! 

16.  been skinny dipping?  Many times, usually while loaded and with a boyfriend.  Hey, it’s no wonder I was so popular with the guys!

17.  been on television?  No, but I was in the newspaper a couple of times, all swimming related.  And no, I was never featured on the local crime page!  Jeez!

18.  thrown up in front of a date?  Yes.  I threw up on the date himself once (on his shoes).  I also threw up (quite profusely) in a guy’s truck and he was not happy.  I puke a lot though, kind of like that kid on South Park.

That’s it!  If you decide to try this, I’d love to read what you have to say, so link back.

I “borrowed” this from Andi at Tripping Toward Lucidity.  It looks like an entertaining and easy meme, so here goes:

My uncle once: fondled my sister.  Disgusting, huh?  His karma caught up with him, though.  Shortly after his fiftieth birthday, he fell off a cliff in the San Juan mountains while hiking and died of head injuries. 

Never in my life: have I gone for more than a week without reading a book.  I begin to suffer from withdrawl after about 24 hours.

When I was five: I was bullied on the first day of Kindergarten by an awful, ugly girl named Susan Wood.  Susan, if you’re out there, I hope you’re MISERABLE!

High school was: boring and redundant and insipid.  I liked swim team, though.

I will never forget: what?  I think I’ve already forgotten it.

Once I met: a really decent man, but it was only that one time.

There’s this girl I know: who is cheating on her husband.  She’s my best friend, and It’s really hard for me to withhold judgement and support her.

Once at a bar: I was punched in the face by an icky drunken man who was trying to pick me up.  I guess he didn’t appreciate the snarky comments I made about the size of his manhood. 

By noon, I’m usually: nearly comatose at my desk at work, or sneakily reading and responding to blogs. 

Last night: I was being a big baby, whining about my sore knee.  After my daughter barricaded herself in her bedroom so she wouldn’t have to listen to me anymore, I watched the Olympics and whimpered every once in awhile.

If I only had: a brain.

Next time I go to church: I’ll be sure to bring enough plastique to cause some serious damage.

What worries me most: is nothing.  I’m not much of a worrier.  Well, maybe these infernal knees!

You’ll know I’m lying when: you won’t know I’m lying, because I don’t normally lie, and I can’t stand people who do.

What I miss most about the 80’s is: John Hughes’ teen movies (Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, etc.)

If I were a character in Shakespeare, I’d be: Iago, because he’s such a diabolical villain.

A better name for me would be: Ogo (oh, great one).  Plus, it’s kind of like Iago!

I have a hard time understanding: Dubya’s vocabulary.

If I ever go back to school: shoot me. dead.

You know I like you if: I make snide comments about your appearance, intellect or personality.

Take my advice, never: throw lit firecrackers at your father’s head.

My ideal breakfast is: coffee.  Breakfast is for fat Republicans and babies.

If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: visit Focus on the Family and then visit New Life Church and decide which one you want to belong to and then buy yourself a minivan and a bunch of Jesus fish decals to stick to it and gain about 50 pounds and start wearing stretch pants and dye your hair a brassy blond color and slather on bright blue eyeshadow and begin praying for the poor sinners who haven’t been reborn in Christ’s image, amen.

Why won’t people: quit blabbering on their damn cell phones at the top of their lungs in public spaces?

The world could do without: literature snobs!

I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: be around screaming, ill-behaved children for more than five seconds. 

My favorite blondes are: myself and my daughters.  And Brad Pitt.  And golden retrievers.  And softdrink.

If I do anything well, it’s: to make practically everyone I meet think I’m the poo.  I don’t even have to try.  I’ve got oodles of charisma and I’m very charming!  I’m also very humble. 

And, by the way: I like you, I really like you!

If you’d like to do this, feel free.  Please link back so I can read your contributions.