Well. everyone, it looks like my yahoo e-mail account has been hacked.  If you have received an e-mail from me talking about a bogus business opportunity, just know that it’s NOT from me, and I will NEVER send you such unadulterated crap – not ever!

I’m going to head over to my yahoo account and see if this can be fixed.  If not, I will deactivate that account and start a new one.

DAMN!

Kim from Sophisticated Dorkiness!  If you haven’t looked at her blog yet, you should head over there right now.  Kim is really fun because she’s so creative and brainy, and I was one of her earliest subscribers.

Congratulations, Kim!

Care!  Good, because I’m going to hold the book hostage until she sends me her dog.  I was feeling guilty the other day about neglecting Care because we’ve been friends pretty much from the beginning of our blogging careers.

So, here ya’ go Care.  Now I don’t have to feel guilty about you for awhile.  I guess this means I should be congratulating both of us!  I may have your address, but e-mail it in case I don’t:  chartroose at yahoo dot com.

P.S., sorry I’m late with this drawing.  I plum forgot!

I’ll be back on January 6th.  Next year is going to be the very funnest for all of us.

Happy Holidays!

Chartroose

Bethany!  Congratulations–you are now a member of my Lord of the Rings club.  This is a very high honor indeed!

E-mail your address to me:  chartroose at wordpress dot com.

Okay, here they are in no particular order:

Heather from Book Addiction.  Hooray!

Quirky Celt (I am quite fond of Celts). 

Mack Lundy (I like Macks, too.  I especially like Macks who appreciate A Clockwork Orange).

Congratulations all!  I’ll be getting in touch with you.

Hello, chartroose’ssss blogging friendssss!  Chartroose found me, umm, rather attached to her fluffy Persian kitty and decided to asssk me, Vampyr Bookwyrm, to hossst thiss contessst.  Since it’sss close to Halloween, she isss going to award a sssuper ssscary prize to the first correct guessser.  Here isss the prize:

That’sss right!  Chartroose will award thisss chilling Lovecraft book and a frightening 12″ ssspawn of Cthulhu toy to the first lucky guessser!  There isss one catch, though.  Chartroose has promisssed me, Vampyr Bookwyrm, that she will allow me to visssit the winner and drink sssome of hisss or her blood asss a reward for my good hosting of thisss contesst.  Don’t worry, if you win, I’ll only sssuck down a pint or two, and then I’ll retire for awhile between the pagessss of one of your larger novelsss.  If you have petsss, like dogsss or catsss, then that’s an extra bonusss.  I might decide to settle down in Fido’sss or Felix’sss cozy fur for a bit ssso I can enjoy a midnight snack whenever I desssire!

Read the following frightening lyricsss and guesss the author and title of the novel Chartroose hasss written about.  These lyricsss are based on that old ssspooky sssong, The Wormsss Crawl In.   The firssst correct guessser winsss.  Good luck, and I’m looking forward to meeting the winner very very soon!  (By the way, I made up the chorusss.  It’sss pretty good, don’t you think)?  Ready, ssset, go!

————————————————————————————————————————-

Did you ever read
About some men of renown
Who caused a lovely young lady to drown?

She hit her head
And they thought she was dead,
So they pushed her car in a pond and then fled.

In about 50 years
Her spirit reappeared
And began to kill off those guilty greybeards.

The wyrms crawled in,
The wyrms crawled out,
The wyrms sucked blood from their wrinkled old snouts.

The remaining old men
Fought a very good fight,
But her spirit escaped and ran off in the night.

She was killed in the end
In a very strange way
When a greybeard’s young nephew used a can of bug spray.
(Not really, but it fits)!

The wyrms crawled in,
The wyrms crawled out,
The wyrms sucked blood from her shape-shifting snout.

What isss it?  Author and title pleassse!

I’m going to do this one because It looks easy.  I’m supposed to be working, but blogging is so much more productive, don’t you think?

What was the last book you bought?
The World of Henry Orient by Nora Johnson.  My review is here.

Name a book you have read MORE than once:
Oh jeez, I’ve reread so many!  Probably the most reread is The Lord of the Rings trilogy.  I revisited them every year from age 11 or 12 until my mid 20’s.

Has a book ever fundamentally changed the way you see life? If yes, what was it?
Again, there are quite a few.  One that really sticks out in my mind is Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.  It made me actually begin to see all people as having value.  I was never very bigoted, but the novel opened my eyes to the ongoing struggle of African Americans and all minorities to gain a sense of identity in our intolerant society.  (Note to self:  blog about novels that change perceptions).

How do you choose a book; e.g., by cover design and summary, recommendations or reviews:
I don’t believe I ever choose by covers because the aesthetics of a book can be totally deceptive.  I choose by reading critiques from other bloggers or newspaper reviews.  I have feeds to The Guardian and The New York Times Book Review, and I occasionally look at reviews from The Christian Science Monitor and The Los Angeles Times.

Do you prefer Fiction or Non-Fiction?
I prefer fiction 99% of the time.

What’s more important in a novel – beautiful writing or a gripping plot?
Beautiful writing.  If the author can’t put a decent sentence together, then the best plot ever imagined is going to have no significance at all.  I often keep reading novels with sucky/ridiculous plots if the writing sings to me.

Most loved/memorable character (character/book):
Oh man, another really difficult one!  Here’s a short list:
Atticus Finch
Becky Sharp
Iago
Eeyore (I know it’s dumb, but Eeyore and I are simpatico)
Lucy Honeychurch
(Note to self:  blog about favorite characters)

Which book or books can be found on your nightstand at the moment?
The Wordy Shipmates — Sarah Vowell
Ghost Road Blues — Jonathan Maberry
Harvard Yard — William Martin
I also have several kindle books waiting for me, and a bunch piled on the top of my couch, which is where I read most of the time.

What was the last book you’ve read, and when was it?
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, and I’m still reading it.  For some inexplicable reason, I’m having trouble getting through it, even though it’s very interesting.

Have you ever given up on a book halfway in?
All the time.  The most recent I can remember is Brideshead Revisited. I was enjoying it, and then, all of a sudden, I totally lost interest.  What’s up with that?  I have a rule that I try to stick to now: if I’m fifty pages in and not liking the book, I’ll quit reading it.  Life’s too short to waste time on mediocre or terrible books!

Carrie K and Melanie.  Congratulations!  E-Mail your home addresses to chartroose @ yahoo dot com and I’ll toss them in the mail.  Woot!

Hey, all you dunzo readers of chartroose’s most excellent book blog, I’m back!  I’ll bet you missed me!  Chartroose was thinking of replacing me with some bogus goose thing, but she’s decided to keep us both (the goose sucks, though).  I’m totally stoked about this, because it means I still have a chance to become her boy toy.  Woot!

The prize is going to be a bit different this time.  The winner will receive this bitchen t-shirt, in a choice of three colors:  fluorescent chartreuse (shown), bright snot yellow or lame-o white.  Sizes range from small to 2x.  As usual, the first correct guesser wins, and you must name the title and author.  Good luck dudes!

Are you ready, my hyper fierce gnar gnar buds?  Here goes:

This totally boglius novel was written about ten years ago.  The story is set in a tiny town in the middle of the country where there are no waves or hot chicks or anything but boring fields all around.  You can’t even do any dune boarding there!  It’s told by a kind of nube-dude; well, he’s not so bad, he’s just a dork.  He’s pretty uncool, and he has this family filled with durfers.  He has a couple of sisters and a mom who is a hugangous swamp donkey.  She sits in front of the tube all day and is always jonesin’ for twinkies and cigarettes.  His brother is a totally retarded brickhead–he can’t help it, but he’s a real tool sometimes.  To break the monotony and the total dokiness of taking care of his brother, the narrator kid has an affair with this kooky older diva, and she becomes all wierded-out and they break up.  He also meets this stellar babe who is traveling through his little town in a camper with her grandmother.  This totally rad girl kind of saves him from himself, and she saves his retarded brother too.  She’s one of the most coolaphonic chicks ever written about in modern literature.  If you haven’t read this totally awesome novel, you really should.  It’s one of chartroose’s fav’s, so you know it has to be good!  She plans to reread it next year.

What is it?  Nuke this as fast as you can, dudes!