I can justify playing with James Lipton’s questionnaire because he has written a memoir which was published several months ago, so this is kinda sorta book related. Since the Academy Awards are coming up, I thought it would be fun to try this. Lipton is so filled with affectation that I always cringe when he mentions the “great Bernard Pivot” before doing the questionnaire. Who is Bernard Pivot anyway? I know he hosted some French talk shows, but what’s so great about that? Is it really that difficult? If Maury Povich can do it, anyone can. Here’s a picture of Bernard Pivot:
He looks like a nice grandfatherly type of guy. Maybe Lipton is right and Bernard Pivot really is “great.”
Here is the questionnaire along with my answers:
1. What is your favorite word? Serendipity or pneumonultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
2. What is your least favorite word? Phlegm
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Reading beautiful prose or poetry.
4. What turns you off? People trying to “fix” my life. My life is fine, leave me alone!
5. What is your favorite curse word? I currently have two: asshat & fucktard.
6. What sound or noise do you love? The click-click-click sound a lift-hill chain makes while pulling a rollercoaster to the top of the first hill.
7. What sound or noise do you hate? The click-click-click sound a lift-hill chain makes while pulling a rollercoaster to the top of the first hill.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Acting
9. What profession would you not like to do? Evangelist, minister, pastor or related.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Where the hell have you been? Get in here NOW!
This is fun! Try it and you’ll see.