Jeez, I feel so neglectful of this blog and all my blogging peeps! I’m currently teaching some web searching classes to physicians, and this always turns me into a basket case because I come across like a blithering idiot whenever I present information to groups, especially groups of people who are generally much smarter than me. If you’re a shy person, like I am, doing ANYTHING in front of a group is pure torture. I’m teaching a couple more classes this week and then I’m done, done, done for another year! Hooray! I wonder if any of you feel the same way about this. I don’t think bybee and Don have any problems because they are “instructional professionals.” How about other shy people, like Care and T Y? How do you feel about public speaking?
And, speaking of speaking, I’ve noticed that several bloggers have posted about some new catchphrases and neologisms they’ve heard or read about lately. Being kind of a word-a-holic (and what rabid reader isn’t), I decided to look up a few. Here are my favorites:
- Blamestorming – Combination of blaming and brainstorming. Used when coworkers sit around and try to figure out who screwed-up. “Mr. Jones was mad. The boss will want to have a blamestorming session about this.”
- Seagull Manager – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
- Cube Farm – An office filled with cubicles.
- Prairie Dogging – When someone yells or drops something in a cube farm and people’s heads pop up to see what’s going on.
- Adminisphere – The rarefied upper-echelons of a corporation. Decisions that float down from the adminisphere are almost always inappropriate and often harmful to the peons working down below.
- Mouse Potato – The wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
- Percussive Maintenance – Whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work right. (I’ve been doing this with my t.v. for almost a year).
- Youtubular – Entertaining in a supremely stupid way.
- Myspacery – Discovering that all the friends you thought you had are imaginary.
- 404 – Someone who is clueless, as in “404 not found.”
- Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) – We all suffer from this to some extent.
- Britney – A situation that is spiraling out of control.
- Olsen – An anorexic girl.
- Doprah – (©2008, chartroose. All rights reserved). A person who has an overinflated opinion of him/herself.
- Brangelinaesque – A sweety-sweet match of two sought after items.
- Trumpstyle – A horrendous hairstyle.
- Irritainment – A celebrity spectacle that, like an accident, you just can’t turn away from.
- Georgebushanoia – A feeling that you’ve been repeatedly rectally raped over the last 8 years.
AMERICA AND ITS WHACKED-OUT INHABITANTS
- Generica – Features of the American lanscape that are the same no matter where you are (i.e., fast food joints, strip malls, etc.).
- Yanktipathy – Aversion to all things American.
- Consumerican – A person suffering from America’s particular brand of consumerism.
- Recessionista – A person who tries to look fashionable on a tight budget.
- WOOFS – Well-off older folks.
- SINBAD – Single income, no boyfriend and desperate. (Blah! This is totally misogynistic since it’s asserting that many women who are without a man in their lives are terribly unhappy. I will never use this one)!
- Incompitense – The stress felt as one waits for the government’s next boneheaded move.
- Terrorgasm – A frightful feeling generated by bogus scares and terror warnings.
LIFE IS A BUMMER
- Salmon Day – The experience of spending the day swimming upstream only to get killed and eaten in the end.
- Ohnosecond – That fraction of time during which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake.
- Frisbeetarianism – The philosophy that when you die, your soul flies onto the roof and gets stuck.
- Moneymoon – That idyllic time after you purchase something and before “buyer’s remorse” sets in.
- Karmageddon – It’s the end of days, dude, and we all deserve it because we’re like totally uncool to each other.
- Caterpallor – The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
- Arachnoleptic fit – The frantic dance performed when a spider jumps or crawls on you.
- Beelzebug – Satan in the form of a kamikazee fly that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Airplane Blonde – One who has dyed her hair but still has a “black box.”
- Lego Hair – A really bad man’s haircut where it looks like his hair was “snapped-on.”
- Manscape – The removal of excess body hair by waxing, plucking, etc.
- Monkey Bath – A bath so hot that you say “ooh, ooh, ooh and aah, aah, aah while lowering yourself into it.
INTELLECTUAL AND PERSONALITY DISORDERS
- Politiclone – A political commentator who is unable to think for himself.
- Poopular – Popular on the outside, poopy on the inside.
- Hulk Out – To lose your temper in a roaring, clothing-rending and teeth-gnashing manner.
- Potterish – (©2008, chartroose. All rights reserved). To feel angsty in an immature, adolescent way.
- Osteopornosis – A degenerate disease.
- Bozone – The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
- Sarchasm – The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
- Ignoranus – A person who is both stupid and an asshole.