Posted by: chartroose | May 1, 2009

Surfer Dude’s Guess That Gnarly Gnovel #9

 

Hey, all you slammin’ bloggery dudes and dudettes!  Chartroose has asked me to fill-in for her today because she has been hella busy at work for the past couple of weeks and is too bummed and burned-out to pay attention to this poor neglected blog.  Plus, she’s trippin’ about porker flu.  She’s sure she’s got it, even though she has no symptoms at all except a headache.  I keep telling her that if she mellows out, the headache will go away.  I’m a totally marley dude, so she should listen to me, don’t you think?

Anyway, chartroose has decided to let ME choose the prize this time.  This is totally sicko dece of her, and if she weren’t acting like such a total freakdudette right now, I’d give her a big hug ( =

Ahem, um, where was I…oh chyeah, I’m choosing the prize!  This prize is the most gnar gnar of all the prizes to date.  It’s a $25 online gift certificate from Ron Jon Surf Shop.  Ron Jon sells some of the sickest surfgear on the planet.  It also sells froufrou home decor and clothing, so you can find something you can use even if you’re just a smogbreather.

In case you’ve forgotten, the rules for this game are super easy.  Be the first person to correctly guess the TITLE and AUTHOR of the gnovel I’m about to explain and write your answer in the comments.  The first correct answer wins.

Are you ready?  Here’s the book:

Once upon a time, there was a gremmy little girl whose parents were always fighting.  Her father was a total narcissist and her mom was bummed all the time.  After the girl’s baby brother dies, her parents divorce, her mom is sent to the looney tuner and the little girl is sent to live with her grandmother.  She has no friends, because she’s kind of a loser-her, which is totally shommy because she tries so hard to be cool, but it just doesn’t work out.  So, the girl starts watching soaps and hanging out with an older neighbor dude.  This dude is totally scary; he thinks he’s a hero, but he’s really just a hodaddy and he hurts the poor loser girl in the worst way that a dude can hurt a chick, and it ruins her for a long time.  Many other things happen:  the girl eats a lot and becomes a moosette; she goes to college and is hell munched by her peers; her only friend gets her wasted and semi-forces her to engage in girl-on-girl sex (of the non-hot kind) and she tries to drown herself in the ocean and ends up in a looney tuner just like her mom.  When she gets out, she pursues a creepy philanderer dude and marries him.  Eventually, she divorces the creepy dude and marries a nice dude and the gnovel ends on an optimistic note. 

Whew, that was killer to explain!  What is it?  Type the title and author in the comments section.  Hurry up and be the first!

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Responses

  1. I’m not guessing since I won last time (and I don’t know the answer). I love my bowl! I’ve got grape tomatoes in it right now.

  2. I’m so glad, Kath! It makes me feel good to give (even little things) to others.

  3. Is it She’s Come Undone by Wally Lamb? I have no idea why I thought of that, but it just clicked.

  4. She’s Come Undone by Wally Lamb??

  5. Well, Meghan, it clicked in the right place. It is “She’s Come Undone!” You’re the winner! Send your snail-mail address to chartroose at yahoo dot com.

    Woot, woot, woot!

    Oh, and sorry, Amanda, it looks like you just missed it. Somehow, your response ended up in my spam folder, which I hardly ever check. I would’ve felt really bad if you had won.

  6. Well, I’m too late to win, but I’m glad to know I did guess the right book :-).

  7. She’s Come Undone by Wally Lamb!
    Oh balls, got here too late.
    Funny thing, I read this book for a 9th grade book report (we got to choose our own books).
    Congrats Meghan. Buy something cool with your gift certificate!

  8. Woohoo! I read that book in high school, I seriously can’t believe I remembered. Off to email you!

  9. Awww, I totally knew that one and EVerything!

    HI-larious, as always.

  10. I have never once been able to guess any of these books, but I sure do love to read Surfer Dude’s Gnarly summaries. 🙂

  11. Had no clue at ALL and fee; totally horrible because I kept giggling at “moosette” in the midst of her tragic life.

  12. She’s Come Undone.
    Damn, I always get here at the wrong time. Bad, bad time zone.
    Moosette, snicker.

  13. No idea but that doesn’t matter a whit; I was, after all, heapingly enertained by the surfer dude’s write up. Yeah. Great fun.

  14. Darn it. Finally, one I knew. That was so fun. I’ve never, ever managed to figure one out, till now, but I feel good about myself (or, at least, somewhat less moronic). Too bad I’m so slow.

  15. I never get the surfer dude, but he’s always good for a laugh. Stop by when you get a chance, I gave an award

  16. THAT was an amazing review. I have not read this book and yet I guessed correctly. yea me!


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