I’m not a twitterer, and I don’t really want to be one. There is nothing I do that is so terribly important that I must announce it to the world immediately. Also, I’m enough of a narcissist without resorting to this new “look at me, look at me” fad, not to mention that I’m a partial luddite at heart. I refuse to carry my cell phone with me unless I’m traveling, and I turned down a free blackberry at work. The last thing I want is to have a bunch of whiny physicians texting me all the freaking time. Egads, I’m such an old curmudgeon! Damn all those young techhies! Why don’t they stay home and watch television like we did in the good old days?
Anyway, I would like to try a rather twittery game. I got this idea from an NPR broadcast. It was so incedibly funny that I thought I’d introduce it today. It’s very simple: I write a few easy “twitterish” lines about a book, and you guess the title. Here are a few examples from NPR:
- “Times are hard. Sister breastfeeding homeless guy. I’m so outta here!” The Grapes of Wrath
- “I hate that guy! Actually, he’s kinda hot…” Pride & Prejudice
I’ll write the twitters here. You only need to write the book title in the comments section. The first person to answer all correctly wins a $25 Barnes & Noble gift certificate. Are you ready? Here goes…
1. You are not to think! You are not to love! We are watching you.
2. Daisy, Daisy, have I got a mansion for you…
3. Cannibals and flayers and FBI, oh my! (speaking of birds… Jodie Foster)
4. Let go of my gonads! Out, out, damn demon! (author initials, WPB. Linda Blair)
5. Hey, throw this soda pop on the pony boy. Maybe it will put the fire out. (famous teen novel. Matt Dillon & Patrick Swayse)
6. I’m good, I’m evil, I’m good, I’m evil. Dammit, where’s my lithium? (This one is too hard. It’s Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde)
7. It’s funny–one day you’re a man and the next you’re an insect. Go figure…
8. Do not eat those stinky pigs and hang your head in shame when you have your period. This is nonnegotiable!
9. Your hair is so soft. Let me pet it. Oops, sorry!
10. When Irish eyes are infected… (memoir tearjerker)
11. Stay away from the maze. You’ll freeze in there. (watch out for that axe, Scatman Crothers)
12. “Aargh, my ass is stuck!” Let me help you, honey. (famous children’s book(s), HUNNY!!!)
13. How about a zipless quickie in the 1st class sink?
14. Mom croaked. Whatever. (author initials: AC. He’s a French dude. Life sucks and then you die.)
15. Flies are yummy. (very famous horror novel. Speaking of life sucking…)
16. Have furry feet, will travel.
17. I’m glad I was dressed as a ham.
Hurry and answer now!